Fail.

So today I showered with Victoria's Secret Pink Energizing Body Wash with Citrus and Mint. "Packed with U.S. - sourced Citrus and natural Mint to exfoliate and refresh, plus a boost of caffeine from Coffee Beans to energize." Funny, because I got out of the shower, went to my room, and fell asleep.

Piano.

So I'm playing this really hard piece right now for piano and I kind of suck at it. Anyways, at the end of my lesson this morning my teacher was like, "Do you want to keep playing this piece? I don't want you to be struggling with it if it's above your skill level. We can play something else..."

I find that sadly insulting. I mean I guess I figured that after taking lessons from her for the past 11 years or so, there was no piece that she would decide is "too hard for me." There are only so many notes, right? And each note corresponds to one key on the piano. Sure, it can be hard, but the basics are easy, so as long as you know how to play you can play just about anything - all you need is practice. At least that's the way I saw things. And even if a piece is "too difficult," how will I ever get better if I don't learn it?

But her lack of faith in me this morning was sort of disheartening. I hope I prove her wrong.

2011.

I forgot to make resolutions this year. I'll improvise as I go along.

Family.

I had to finish reading Never Let Me Go over break for English so after several days of bumming around, I picked up the book today, resolved to finish it all in one sitting. Of course, after a single digit number of pages, I was soon fast asleep within the warmth of my covers, the morning's ridiculous track workout having drained me of the energy required to keep my eyes open. Upon waking up with the outburst of several expletives, I decided to finish the rest of my reading downstairs in the living room, where I was more likely to stay awake.

Innocently minding my own business, I made my jolly way down the stairs, happy to have set my mind on something so productive after being a useless bum for the past few days. I made a beeline for my favorite corner of the couch and was just about to settle into a comfortable reading position when my dad walked out of the kitchen and exclaimed, "Well, if it isn't Brooke in the living room! Haven't seen you on this level of the house except to eat or play piano!" I looked up with a taken aback, "What?" then pretended to commence with my reading. Inside my head, though, I felt slightly confused. What did he mean?

And then I felt bad because I realized that I've been spending most of my time cooped up in my own room, and that I probably talk to people on gchat ten times more often than I talk to my own family. That's pretty sad. But then again I think I'm painting a bad picture here, I love my parents and my brother and I have a very good family life - much better than that of most people's, so I've come to realize over the years - but I guess I haven't been appreciative of that. Hmm, I should probably thank them sometime before I go off to college. But we all know that only happens in sappy movies and TV shows.

Time To Wait.

I have this funny feeling in my stomach but I'm not sure if it's from the adhesive substance of the envelopes I've been licking all afternoon or from the dread of being rejected from all the colleges these envelopes were mailed to.

Ajlsdkjfks.

I wish I could find all the right words to say, the perfect combination of the letters of the alphabet that would dissolve all your sadness in one sentence's embrace.

Runner's High.

So today I spent several hours freezing my ass off at the track, waddling around like a penguin with my arms held stiffly at my sides, refusing to take my hands out of the over sized sleeves of my varsity jacket. But in the end, when it was finally time for the 800, my race went by surprisingly fast and when it was all over I sat down, put on my sweats, and replaced those dreadfully toe-squishing track spikes with my worn out, comfortable uggs. It was a good feeling.

On the car ride home, I couldn't stop coughing after running around in the cold for so long, yet I sang with Leona Lewis at the top of my lungs. And as I drove past the rows of houses, amazed at each one's sparkling Christmas lights, I felt warm, and relieved, and content. And when I got back home my mom made me hot apple cider with cinnamon and I sat there sipping my steaming mug while listening to a piano cover of Just The Way You Are. So Amy, to answer your question - "Why do you run? Why would you do winter track?!" - I guess it's for moments like these.