I remember the first time I learned what a shooting star really was. I guess I always thought it was really a star falling across the sky, something beautiful, something that glowed with the reassuring power to grant my wishes. The way I feel right now is the way I felt the day I realized a shooting star is really just a meteoroid burning through the atmosphere, an ugly boulder falling to its demise.
I tend to be too trusting, inevitably setting myself up for disappointment. I've always had incredible faith in humanity, but little by little this faith has begun to erode. In the past few years, my perception of the world around me has increased in pessimism, but in the past few weeks, I've been losing faith not only in the world but in myself. I've always prided myself on having good morals and always doing the right thing. I think it's become so much a part of who I am that people even expect it from me, but it pains me to think that they might be wrong. I feel like I've been making some bad decisions lately, that these bad decisions will become mistakes, and that these mistakes will define who I am.
"People are gonna disappoint you. I get that, I kind of expect that. But I don't know, what if you get up one day and realize that you're the disappointment?"
hrm thats true but dont worry too much. even the smartest kids in this school and people who you think would never cheat actually cheat..a lot. and its only cause its so easy so so many people do it. but dont fret about small stuff, though by no means does that mean have a moral lapse. i forgot who it was that said "character is what you do when no one is looking." i know of very few who have that. dont be so hard/down
ReplyDeletebtw ive decided you have too many posts to comment on so im only gonna comment on ones that have "0 comments" so you wont feel as lonely.