Dependence.

I'm not a misanthrope or the type who prefers solitude to company; I like being with people. In fact, I thrive off social contact. Without my friends, I am not only nobody but I am nothing. So it might sound a little strange when I say that I hate depending on others. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for cooperation; I work well in groups and I get along with pretty much everyone. I like being the person other people can rely on, but I absolutely despise being on the opposite end of this dependence thing. It's not that my trust in others has ever been abused or that I find myself being disappointed very often. I hold all my friends in a very high regard and I know that I can count on them in almost every situation. But I don't know...there's just this feeling I have. A craving for independence, if you will. I guess it's just that some people will come and go in your life. At some point you'll lose a friend; heck, I've already drifted from so many once-close friends over the past few years. Maybe I'm just afraid to invest too much of myself into others because when they leave - or when I leave - I don't know how much of myself will never be returned. It's safer not to depend on others. But then again...maybe it's worth the risk. Maybe that's what friendships are all about. I should have more faith in people...I'm just being stubborn.