Not All Who Wander Are Lost.

Being the nerds that we are, Jess, Melissa, Alex, and I were talking about colleges in Spanish Lit today. We were supposed to be answering questions on Rosario Castellanos' poem "Autorretrato," but we all already did them at home (again, we're nerds) so we spent all of Spanish class chatting in English.

Anyways, I was talking to Alex about how he already knew exactly what college he was EDing, why he loved that college so much, and what he planned on studying there. I told him that I admired how he had his goals set out for him and knew what he needed to do to achieve them. I, on the other hand, fear that I will never reach my dreams -- mainly because I don't know what those dreams are yet. I feel like it's so much easier to be successful when you already know what you want. So what do the rest of us do? Close our eyes, make a wish, and hope a shooting star happens to be passing by?

Shirley gave me a bookmark today. It made me feel warm and fuzzy inside because she didn't buy it for any other reason than, "It reminded me of you." Funny how the smallest gestures mean the most. Anyways, the bookmark had a Henry David Thoreau quote on it, written in bold, capitalized, orange font: "GO CONFIDENTLY IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR DREAMS!" It seems so simple. Here, browse around in the Dreams aisle. Pick a Future off the shelf and make your purchase at the Wish register. Quite a painless procedure -- the prices are pretty good too!

...I can't help it. The world is too big, and I'm only so little. How do you expect me to know what I want?


To be honest, I kind of want it all.

Anticipation.

I've been remiss in posting for quite a while -- not that it matters since no one reads this -- but the sudden explosion of bloggers which trusty Facebook has informed me of has inspired me to write something. (Actually, the real reason why I'm here right now is because I have absolutely no idea what my Spanish homework is asking me so naturally I figured that a little procrastination would be the responsible thing to do.)

My first reason sounded better though.

I hate the mornings when my alarm clock rings and before I've even opened my eyes, a list of reasons why not to get up has already started running through my head: Physics test first period, hard cross country practice today (and only 30% chance of precipitation, goddamnit), violin lessons at night...my toes feel warm beneath the toasty covers and head is fully immersed within my soft pillow. I think I'll just... -- then the alarm clock shrieks again.

But then there are those days when I go to sleep happy and wake up happier. Today is October 24th and I'm excited. Monday is the last hard practice of the season. Wednesday is our end-of-the-season cross country pasta party. Thursday and Friday are half days, aka hang out and have fun days. Then it's the weekend. Saturday is GMCs -- last meet of the season, last meet of my life! Then the next week is three consecutive half days then two days off with no practice after school! And by then we'll already be a week into November, which is the best month ever because it's full of random days off and everyone's happy because the holidays are coming up and the smell of cinnamon and turkey and candied apples and gravy are so tantalizingly close that you almost think you can already sniff it in the autumn air.

Now I know that today is going to suck -- I have yet to finish the aforementioned Spanish homework, after which I must tackle calc and physics and hopefully another college essay, but the anticipation of impending fun motivates me to be happy even in the midst of taking derivatives and finding integrals.

There's always Life to look forward to.

If Life Was Simple.

It would probably be boring. I guess that makes it all okay.